4 Days until The Unforgiving Wife
Twenty four years of marriage. Over.
Or is it?
I can't wait for you to read The Unforgiving Wife - Juliette is truly one of my fav wives. Yes, I said that about the others, but once you meet her, you'll agree that Juliette is special.
Here's a sneak peak from Chapter 1. Don't forget, you can still get The Unforgiving Wife for my new-release price of $2.99.
-------------------------
Part 1: Love was patient
Blinded by love
Juliette
“Love you,” Juliette should have expected the hand-written note left on the bench, but still it came as a full body shock. The tingle from the pit of her stomach, up to her eyes threatening the tears she was sick of wiping away.
She hadn’t heard Roland leave for work. It was easier to pretend the guest wing was a different house and try to live separate lives. Except each morning he left her a note with different words but the same theme.
“I’m sorry.”
“I want us back.”
“I love you.”
“Want to go out for dinner tonight? Anywhere you want to go.”
“How about we go water skiing this weekend?”
“I love you.”
“Please forgive me.”
A silent intrusion on her necessary pretense that he had moved out, a way of coping with the destruction he inflicted on their family.
Destroying her sense of make-believe that allowed her to try and move on.
Except each night and without fail, he now came home for dinner. He even tried to make sure at least one of the kids were home so she had to participate in “happy families” around the dinner table and exchange pleasantries with the man whom she once loved more than life itself. He couldn’t understand the courage it took for her to sit across from him, knowing his every expression, able to predict conversations about the traffic, clients and even sports.
She thought she knew everything about her husband, but the events of the last weeks proved quite clearly, she knew nothing.
Her only relief was when their kids were out, living their active, social, teen lives. Juliette then waited for Roland to settle down at the table before moving her plate to eat outside on the large wooden deck with the national park at her back fence. A sense of peace and beauty in her life of emotional chaos. If he followed her outside, no place at the table that comfortably seated twelve was far enough away. Instead, she escaped to her room. The bedroom they had shared for decades was the only place he dared not go.
Juliette held the note a moment longer than she wanted, again the daily decision whether to crumple it or shred his words into a thousand pieces before tossing it in the trash along with her marriage. As much as she wanted to be strong enough to throw it out, she added it to the others in her night stand drawer. Perhaps, one day, she could burn the lot of them but not today.
It had only been a couple of weeks and no matter how many nights she sought answers in the lonely darkness or days she sat outside looking for inspiration in the clouds, she still struggled to comprehend how it had all come to this.
All these years she thought Roland accepted their marriage wasn’t conventional. After all she had suffered giving birth to their daughter, they were held together by the deepest of friendship and unwavering loyalty and love, but without the physical intimacy he deserved.
Her fault, it was all her fault. He never said as much in act or deed, but she had wrapped herself in the silent guilt for so long he didn’t have to.
She brushed a film of dust from their wedding photo hanging on the lounge room wall, next to those of Lucas and Catherine’s christenings and graduations. Her precious children, how quickly they had grown to barely need their mother.
They didn’t need her, and her husband didn’t want her, she choked.
No, that wasn’t true, he had tried to … what did it matter anymore. She wasn’t enough of a wife to him and now the truth was out for everyone to gossip and mock.
Juliette wasn’t so naïve or foolish as to believe Roland’s promises that he could live the rest of his life without sex as long as he had her. Part of her suspected that maybe he would have had a one-night fling at a conference, a meaningless coupling that she would never discover or need to know.
Not once did she think he could lie to her every day for over a decade while he had a single affair. Inconceivable that he could have one affair, with one woman for more than half their marriage. Trying to defend how such an enduring relationship was never intended as a betrayal or the ultimate threat to their marriage?
“Jules, I love you, that never changed.”
“Rubbish,” she shouted, leaving the room only for him to follow her like a pathetic puppy. “Are you telling me you were thinking of me while you were in bed with her? Calling out my name or hers!”
“It wasn’t like that,” he pleaded for her understanding and impossible forgiveness.
“Then tell me, what was it like?”
How could he think that it wasn’t an insult to her, to the core essence of her womanhood.
An affair would have been bad enough, even the length of time he had built a second life with another woman. But to find out it was with his best friend’s wife? What sort of man does that – and with Nina!
Even while she tried to wrap her head around a cheating husband, the whole sorry situation tried to force her to understand and accept that he chose not only the wife of his best friend, but with her oldest friend.
Nina and Roland. Friend and husband. How could they do that to her?
For nights she lay alone, silently screaming and hiding her tears in her pillow. Who’s had been the greatest betrayal.
The best friend who had been first to the hospital and almost lived in her home, providing invaluable support after Catherine’s birth? Took turns with her husband to take her to doctor and specialist visits. Encouraged her through hours of physical therapy. Held her while she cried for the other children she would never have?
The man who swept her off her feet in the sand dunes of Byron Bay, seduced her in the rich orchards of custard apples before insisting they marry immediately so the rest of their lives together could start. Even after Cat’s birth, his declarations of love included promises to never leave her … no matter what had changed in their bedroom. Who convinced her that he loved her too much to want her to try pushing through the emotional or physical scars.
No, when it came to betrayal, it was too soon for Juliette to weigh up the faults. What did it matter, they did what they wanted and now everyone was dealing with the fall out differently.
Juliette closed and put away the half a dozen wedding photos scattered around the living areas, even knowing Roland would find where ever she hid them, and they’d be waiting for her again tomorrow. Acknowledging how hard he was trying didn’t make her hurt go away, it only made everything sadder. If he loved her so much, why did he?
She wanted to hide away and give herself time to sort out the mess in her head, resist the strong urge to over react and not make any life-long decisions out of retaliation. She wanted to silence her inner voice, that Roland’s affair was her fault and her shame.
Except, Nina’s jealous husband wanted everyone to feel his pain and know about his cheating wife. After years of defending his own affairs, Derek made damn sure Juliette found out about her “perfect husband” before sharing the news of his own marriage implosion with the broadest circle of family and friends.
Her only sanctuary from the inevitable gossip, stares and well-intentioned advice was to potter around her empty, silent home. Pulling out of her tennis games, morning jogs and dealing with her charity work by email, or ignoring it all together.
From the bedroom back down the hallway to the lounge room, a new routine that she couldn’t break. Juliette needed reminding of when she and Roland were young, innocent and so obviously and passionately in love, starting with the earliest photo albums, she flipped through them one by one. Roland so clearly adored her during their brief courtship, the early arrival of son Lucas, right up until when Cat was born.
Only now, looking through the albums as a single story of her life, did she notice the change in Roland’s eyes and body language. The look of love for their children never wavered, but physically he had set himself apart from her and the family. Photo by photo, Juliette realized that Roland had became the breadwinner instead of husband. A friend when he couldn’t be a lover.
The questions she had refused to ask began to surface and her tears started their familiar path down her cheeks. When did his affair begin? When did he realize he no longer loved his family no longer loved Juliette. When did he decide to risk everything that he said he valued to fall in love with her friend, Nina.
The slamming shut of the albums echoed off the walls. To hell with putting them neatly away when she’d only be looking at them again in self-indulgent wallow tomorrow. Throwing them to the floor, Juliette felt empowered by the violent, “thud”. The unfamiliar anger simmered beneath the surface, in her heart something needed to hit something else. She needed to hit something!
It had taken long enough, but with the anger finally building, Juliette was ready to pull herself out of her spiral of self-pity and self-doubt.
With a burst of angry energy, Juliette got changed out of her pajamas. Today was the day to get out of the house and do something, anything to take her mind off what he had done to her and their marriage. Lunch with the girls? Arrange a new fundraiser? Maybe a game of tennis so she could imagine someone’s face on the ball as she smashed it across the net?
The self talk only stopped with the ringing of her phone. Juliette rushed to answer in case it was her children. Lucas had taken his parents’ arguments in his stride, not that he was ever home to hear them. Still, he rang her at least once each day to check in and make sure she was okay. From what she could make out, he hadn’t afforded his father the same attention. His anger towards the man who had once been his hero was too raw and real. Juliette wanted to care about the fractured father-son relationship but figured that Roland had made his bed and could bloody well lie in it.
Cat, her precious daughter was more vulnerable and at the teen age where normal events were dramatic, and this … Juliette needed to pull herself together if only to reach out and support Cat.
Holding her phone, she took pleasure in declining the call, not quite believing in Roland’s ego and arrogance. Why would he use his mobile to call her? She hadn’t answered his calls in weeks, why would she start today? Her phone rang again, and again it was Roland. She let it go through to voicemail.
What the hell could he say that she hadn’t heard before. That he loved her and that he was sorry? Really so what? He had slept with another woman for over ten years. Which of those times was he sorry for?
All Juliette wanted was time to think, time to think whether or not she loved him, and if she didn’t, could she ever love him again. She needed time to decide whether she could ever forgive him.
Wow! I don't think I would have been so gracious. Then again, after so many years of marriage, would you walk away before taking time to think about it? What would it take for your husband to win you back?
Get your copy of The Unforgiving Wife on pre-order today.